Ready, Set, Succeed!

As I was getting ready for bed recently, I walked around closing up the house, checking on the kids, brushing my teeth, doing all the things I do at night. The entire time I was doing this I had a checklist and accompanying judgment going on in my head that I didn't even notice til near the end. I went on a long walk and made fruit smoothies for my family today. Way to go, except that we then went out to eat large amounts of artery clogging unhealthiness. Fail. We spent some good family time together today. That would've been great except that I was not very loving when I barked at my 5 year old repeatedly to do his homework. Fail. I watched an informative news program that made me feel like a more competent citizen. Nice job, but I managed to avoid any spiritual enlightenment today, which means I'll be a great citizen in hell. Fail. I brushed my teeth. Hardly even worth a pat on the back, and then I talked myself out of the 30 seconds it would have taken me to floss out of sheer laziness. Fail. I finally noticed this internal checklist when I felt my breath and pulse slightly quicken as my list of failures got longer and seemed to come at me quicker, and I wanted to scream, "I'm doomed! I'll never, not even one single day, ever do everything I'm supposed to do! I absolutely can not win this!" Luckily, the slightly kinder side of myself, the one that is less prone to negative mental outbursts, made me stop it all because none of it was helping.

It's true that I will probably never live a day when I get up on time, beautiful, and chipper, easily and happily get the kids all fed and to school on time and matching, have a personal best workout, patiently and with not a hint of resentment clean up the banana and oatmeal ground into the floor, table, and wall by my sweet and innocent little angels, find both the time and energy to keep my house constantly crud-free, make perfectly nutritious meals while offering and eating no refined sugars or saturated fat, spiritually connect and better myself, keep my mind and professional skills sharp, be perfectly patient and loving with my husband and kids, and floss at the end if the day before initiating at least one rousing love-making session with my husband. Just writing that was almost more than I could bare. I suspect I might not be the only one that has a detailed imaginary life against which I measure myself, or maybe it's a friend or neighbor with this, assuredly imaginary, life.

I have found that the quickest way to get me to sit on my butt in my filthy house yelling at my kids and eating ice cream out of the carton is to decide that since I always manage to mess up, I shouldn't even try. This happens occasionally. Luckily, because the dichotomous relationship I have with myself requires a constant inner dialogue, one side of which is much wiser than the other, those times don't tend to last very long. The much wiser me knows that it's in striving that strength is gained. She knows that feeling overwhelmed is a cue to stop, take a deep breath, and start again, simply checking one thing off the list at a time. Pick one thing, just one, to work on and grow into at a time. Celebrate every small victory, forgive and learn from every failure, and listen to the empowering wisdom inside you telling you that your strength is found in your striving and joy is in each small success. 

My Thighs Touch, And It's Okay

Facebook keeps telling me I'm not good enough. It keeps suggesting that I might want to lose 19lbs. in 3 weeks or learn the biggest diet trick plastic surgeons don't want me to know. On top of that, it seems like every woman I know (and I love you all) is talking about losing weight, posting pics of buff models trying to inspire us all to the body they have, and secretly either considering going under the knife, already done so, or feels like she can't compete with the ones who have. This does seem to be a pretty female problem, though not without exceptions. Now before I go any further I want to clarify. It is absolutely not my intention to vilify anyone who has ever been on a diet, posted buff pics, or gone under the knife. I am simply taking a step back from the individual trees to see the forest for what, to me, it seems to be.

We are insecure, and we are perpetuating a culture of insecurity. I started worrying about dieting and cutting calories by the time I was 12. My mom, who was on a limited budget and had always bought whole milk for our entire family of 8, graciously agreed to get me my own skim milk and low-fat foods, some of which were good food choices, some of which were total gimmicky crap. Even as an athletic teenager, I was self-conscious about my thick waist and thighs and never felt good enough. I realized something not too long ago, though. I spent so much time back then worrying about my imperfect body and apologizing to myself and everyone else for that missed work-out or that extra large bowl of ice cream (that I could have enjoyed, had I not felt so much guilt), and now, three kids and twenty years later, I would die for that body back. That realization made me decide that I would not squander the next decade of my life shaming myself, only to look back and mourn the loss of what I had but couldn't appreciate. Yes, my waist is barely smaller than my hips. I have stretch marks. My thighs touch *gasp*. These things are unlikely to change, no matter what drastic steps I take or how much I hate them, so I've decided not to spend my precious energy worrying about it. I work out regularly and try to make good food choices (most of the time). I think everyone should, but I also think we should stop obsessing about it and competing with each other, and focus our energy on something worthwhile, like malnourished children and awful human rights violations around the world. Our rubbing thighs and cellulite are, after all, first world problems, aren't they?

There is a word and gesture in yoga, Namaste, where the hands are together directly in front of the heart and people bow slightly to each other. Namaste literally means "I bow to you", but it means that you acknowledge your own and another's soul, the spiritual or divine spark within each of us. It reminds us to see past the physical world to acknowledge that the soul and connection of souls is the most important thing. I know that might be a little touchy feely for some, but it's important to see past our limitations sometimes to see the beauty that is inherently present in all of us.

I believe that balance is such an important part of healthy living. If you love weight-lifting, do it. Just don't neglect your family while you're at the gym for hours every single day. If you love warm, gooey homemade chocolate chip cookies, eat them. Just consider sticking with small batches to lessen the temptation and don't make them on a nightly basis. If you want to lose weight or improve the look of your body, do it. Just keep it reasonable and sustainable, and don't compare yourself with others whose genetic make-up, hormones, and daily demands are different than yours. So as you continue on your journey of a healthy, whole, and beautiful life, consider first accepting yourself as you are, imperfections and all. No more shame, no more apologies. Once that burden is lifted from us all, we are in a much better position to choose one thing at a time that is standing in the way of our optimally well selves and choose to improve. As long as we allow the self-loathing and competition to continue, though, no amount of healthy choices will make us well. We can do better. We can feel whole, even without perfection.

Namaste

Catalina Chicken Salad

This is so simple and especially great on a hot summer day. It's a favorite of mine for days when I have to be running around all afternoon and can have this all ready to just toss on the dinner table. It has such simple ingredients, as well, that I almost always have what I need to throw it together.

1 lb. whole wheat pasta, cooked
1-2 chicken breasts, cubed and cooked (or 1-2 cans chunked chicken)
shredded Parmesan cheese
dark leafy greens, like mixed greens, red or green leaf lettuce, or raw spinach
fat-free Catalina dressing

The whole wheat pasta, full of whole grains and fiber, and lean chicken can be quickly cooked up earlier in the day. A bit of Italian seasoning can be mixed in with the chicken while cooking to add flavor, but the dish stands just fine on its own without. Using canned chicken makes it even easier, as you get to skip the cooking process altogether, but you do get a few additives for the convenience. Toss the pasta and chicken together and put in a covered bowl in the fridge for at least a couple hours. At dinner time, just lay down the pasta mixture on an ample bed of vitamin-rich greens, sprinkle with cheese and drizzle with Catalina. It just doesn't get any easier than that, and you get to feel good that you're offering a balanced meal that even kids will eat! It's great as leftovers or for work lunches, too.

Perfect Papaya Smoothie

I'll admit right up front that I have never been a papaya fan, so if you find yourself in this category don't give up on me yet. Papaya is high in vitamins A and C, folate, potassium, and fiber, but I wouldn't eat anything I didn't like, regardless of its nutritional benefits. The trick is to make nutritious things desirable, not choke them down. My island living stint has given me a bit more reason than usual to try more exotic fruits. My family and I tried papaya months ago, and we thought that was going to be chalked up to an island experience not worth repeating. When I inadvertently ended up with more of the strange fruit later on I decided to find a way to make it delicious, and you know what? I managed to really make it happen! As much as I'd like to tell you what a genius I am, It's hard to go wrong with a smoothie. Anything in this recipe can be substituted, though I love this particular combo. The coconut water (which I think is disgusting on its own, but a yummy nutritional boost in the mix) can be skim milk or even water. The pear can become a peeled and cored apple. Add mango, or even replace the papaya with it. The amounts aren't exact either. They're just a guide. It's all about handfuls and eyeballing and playing with texture. This recipe makes an entire blender full, so prepare to share the deliciousness!

 

1 ripe papaya

1 banana

1 pear with skin

1 clementine mandarin (or small orange)

1/2-1 cup fresh pineapple

1/2-1 cup coconut water

6-12 ice cubes

 

Combine peeled, cored, and rough chopped fruits in blender. Add enough coconut water for the mixture to blend well. On high, add the desired amount of ice. When the ice is well incorporated, pour and enjoy for breakfast, snack, or to satisfy a sweet tooth. Aloha!

Rice Cookers and the Advancement of the Human Race

Recently, my husband saw me eying a programmable rice cooker/steamer/slow cooker while grocery shopping, and, knowing I would find a way to convince myself I didn't really need it, he silently put it in the cart. I love that man. He then sat at home and tried not to mock me while I excitedly explained all the things I could do with it. As I'm sure none of you can relate, I'll quickly explain that I feel like I'm being drawn and quartered in the afternoons, between homework and snacks and playtime and refereeing and a needy toddler underfoot, when I should be preparing fabulously healthy and delicious home-cooked meals for my growing family. The chaos has, more than once (okay, more than 20 times), instead had me reaching for the mac & cheese and hotdogs. Now I'm not selling rice cookers or crock pots, and this isn't really about that. It's about deciding on an end goal and using the available technology to make it happen. My afternoons tend to be crazy, and a programmable rice cooker/steamer/slow cooker, being slightly cheaper than a personal chef, just might help with that. We also have family spread all over the universe, and Facebook, blogs, Facetime, and Skype are great resources for us. My smartphone is my phone, grocery list, GPS, personal trainer, camera, newspaper, music player, book, birthday reminder, bank access, organizer, and recipe book.

Now there are times we fight technology, and sometimes rightfully so. Large doses of smartphones, tablets, and Facebook aren't always truly relaxing or conducive to positive human interaction. Trying to control autocorrect or learn how to use a new remote can be mind-bending. One's connection with the outside world might diminish considerably if an interesting show with several cliffhanging seasons appears on Netflix. The Internet, while an almost endless sea of knowledge and connection, is also the proverbial carrot of danger and filth dangling before us and our children constantly.

The catch with technology is much the same as with carbs, sleep, and sex. It's all about moderation and keeping your eye on that end goal. So I say embrace technology, but ask yourself a few questions first. 1) What is my end goal? 2) What can assist me in achieving it? 3) Are there inherent risks that should be considered, such as possible abuse or safety concerns, that limit a tool's benefits or need to be addressed?

Computers, smartphones, tablets, Internet, smart TVs, Bluetooth, and fancy kitchen appliances can all be amazing resources.  Don't let technology use you, though, gobbling up all your time, money, or sanity. Instead, use IT as a tool to help you achieve your goals! Now what's been on your mind- that goal you've been pushing to the back of your head to get to when you have more time, money, or courage? What little piece of the 21st century can help get you there? Do you need to set limits or do a bit of risk management so this tool stays properly in its helpful place? Okay. Now get there!

Lean In!

I slept in this morning, if you can call it that after having been woken up twice by my six year old by 6:45am, first asking me if I would help him dig through the couch for the remote and then to tell me he found a crayon and a bug in the couch. I rolled over and went back to sleep. When I woke up, though, it was too late to take advantage of the cool ocean air and indirect sunlight for my morning run. It meant facing the hot sun on my face and sweating profusely, looking somewhat like a speckled zombie on my way. I did it. I say that with a bit of pride, as I've not always had the will to be temporarily uncomfortable in order to get that endorphin rush and feeling of accomplishment that comes with pushing myself. My run was everything I thought it would be- hot, sweaty, and ugly, but I did it and it feels great!

During everything I do that really challenges me, which includes every single run, I invariably hit a point where I realize I'm tired, I hurt, and I want to stop. I no longer naturally move in a forward direction. It occurred to me one day recently when I was forced to run into the wind that at these moments I have two distinct choices before me- lean back or lean in. Every person who has ever experienced anything difficult has felt the pull of these juxtaposing forces. I have taken both paths. I have succumbed to my fatigue and leaned back, letting my lower body carry me along at a much lower intensity. It is a short-term relief, I admit, but it doesn't make me better. Now that I recognize this moment of choice, which sometimes lasts for half my work-out, I can clearly see the temptation to lean back and instead choose to do the opposite- lean in! The feeling of recommitting to the challenge and defiantly pushing forward (leading with the chest, not the shoulders, of course), though admittedly painful, is a rush that stretches the human spirit, as well as the body.

We're all inspired by people who accomplish nearly super-human things- Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Oscar Pistorius (murder charge aside), Mother Teresa. The trick is to not see them as superheroes that just aren't limited like the rest of us. That makes it too easy to dismiss our own challenges because we just weren't built as strong as they were, be that strength physical, mental, or emotional. The truth is, they are just like us, but given the challenge and the choice, they lean in! Today, I choose to lean in, and my muscles and my spirit are stronger for it.

Fun, Family, AND Fitness?!

 

I have a confession. I sat down to write something new and exciting about getting active in fun and creative ways, and found a draft I wrote almost exactly a year ago and never posted. It's quite similar to my current apparently unoriginal idea, though my exercise of choice has changed several times since then. Given the fact that this is a recurring theme in my life, I thought it worth posting now, however outdated the personal details.

Here goes:

I admit it. I gained a bunch of weight over the past several months. Then, miraculously, a good chunk of it just disappeared all in one day. He is cute and cuddly and keeps me up at night. This awesome experience still left me significantly short of my skinny jean size, so I took to the treadmill. Now I'm certainly not anti-treadmill. It's been a great way to get around trudging through snow and sweating through triple digit temperatures, but it can get a little monotonous, even with a TV with which to watch all my old DVDs.

Then, quite by accident, my family created a new evening ritual. With about an hour left of sunlight, my boys and husband get out their bikes and I get out the stroller. They ride up and down and around, since I can't quite keep up with them, and we walk/ride/stroll for several miles almost every evening. Not only am I able to stick to this and put in significantly more mileage than the treadmill, but I really love the time with my family. The boys get to let off some steam, sometimes quite literally, after a hot day mostly stuck inside, but they are so fun to watch. My husband also rides back and forth between me and the boys, and we get to enjoy some time interacting, usually without a crying baby or TV present.

Now, the walk/ride/stroll combo might sound strange, but besides the fact that I don't have a decent bike that doesn't bruise my poor nether-regions, my boys could never ride far enough for me to get the same workout on wheels as I do on foot. Now, maybe this doesn't sound like fun or wouldn't logistically work for you, but don't be afraid to think outside the box and find something that does. Exercise doesn't have to be boring or monotonous or feel like a chore. In fact, the point is to make it joyful! Get out as a family or join a group or sign up for that pole dancing class you've had your eye on. Do it because it feels great, and you're body will thank you for it!

 

Fast-forward to the present:

Who did I think I was kidding? I've never really had a skinny jean size, but the baby weight is, mercifully, gone with the midnight feedings. We still do occasional family walk/ride/strolls, but my day-to-day exercise has gotten more individual, for the time being. For several months I focused on improving my yoga skills. I've recently started interval training several times a week in hopes of surviving a 5K in a few months. The specific exercise isn't really important, though different exercise will accomplish different goals. The important thing is finding something that keeps you healthy and active that you don't dread with every fiber of your being. Train for a specific goal, learn a new skill, find all the best local hiking trails, or bust a move in a Kangoo class (pictured above; presumably not for the uncoordinated). The possibilities are endless, and it all works. It doesn't have to be about being supermodel skinny or winning a marathon. It's about feeling great and experiencing the best life has to offer!