Facebook keeps telling me I'm not good enough. It keeps suggesting that I might want to lose 19lbs. in 3 weeks or learn the biggest diet trick plastic surgeons don't want me to know. On top of that, it seems like every woman I know (and I love you all) is talking about losing weight, posting pics of buff models trying to inspire us all to the body they have, and secretly either considering going under the knife, already done so, or feels like she can't compete with the ones who have. This does seem to be a pretty female problem, though not without exceptions. Now before I go any further I want to clarify. It is absolutely not my intention to vilify anyone who has ever been on a diet, posted buff pics, or gone under the knife. I am simply taking a step back from the individual trees to see the forest for what, to me, it seems to be.
We are insecure, and we are perpetuating a culture of insecurity. I started worrying about dieting and cutting calories by the time I was 12. My mom, who was on a limited budget and had always bought whole milk for our entire family of 8, graciously agreed to get me my own skim milk and low-fat foods, some of which were good food choices, some of which were total gimmicky crap. Even as an athletic teenager, I was self-conscious about my thick waist and thighs and never felt good enough. I realized something not too long ago, though. I spent so much time back then worrying about my imperfect body and apologizing to myself and everyone else for that missed work-out or that extra large bowl of ice cream (that I could have enjoyed, had I not felt so much guilt), and now, three kids and twenty years later, I would die for that body back. That realization made me decide that I would not squander the next decade of my life shaming myself, only to look back and mourn the loss of what I had but couldn't appreciate. Yes, my waist is barely smaller than my hips. I have stretch marks. My thighs touch *gasp*. These things are unlikely to change, no matter what drastic steps I take or how much I hate them, so I've decided not to spend my precious energy worrying about it. I work out regularly and try to make good food choices (most of the time). I think everyone should, but I also think we should stop obsessing about it and competing with each other, and focus our energy on something worthwhile, like malnourished children and awful human rights violations around the world. Our rubbing thighs and cellulite are, after all, first world problems, aren't they?
There is a word and gesture in yoga, Namaste, where the hands are together directly in front of the heart and people bow slightly to each other. Namaste literally means "I bow to you", but it means that you acknowledge your own and another's soul, the spiritual or divine spark within each of us. It reminds us to see past the physical world to acknowledge that the soul and connection of souls is the most important thing. I know that might be a little touchy feely for some, but it's important to see past our limitations sometimes to see the beauty that is inherently present in all of us.
I believe that balance is such an important part of healthy living. If you love weight-lifting, do it. Just don't neglect your family while you're at the gym for hours every single day. If you love warm, gooey homemade chocolate chip cookies, eat them. Just consider sticking with small batches to lessen the temptation and don't make them on a nightly basis. If you want to lose weight or improve the look of your body, do it. Just keep it reasonable and sustainable, and don't compare yourself with others whose genetic make-up, hormones, and daily demands are different than yours. So as you continue on your journey of a healthy, whole, and beautiful life, consider first accepting yourself as you are, imperfections and all. No more shame, no more apologies. Once that burden is lifted from us all, we are in a much better position to choose one thing at a time that is standing in the way of our optimally well selves and choose to improve. As long as we allow the self-loathing and competition to continue, though, no amount of healthy choices will make us well. We can do better. We can feel whole, even without perfection.
Namaste
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